(This article is part one of a three-part series on modern multidisciplinary fields that can be used as influences and sources of new effective, practical conflict strategies)
Whatever story you want to tell, you want to make sure that you are the one telling the story and not letting it tell you. You have to be careful. Stories are more powerful than we are.
Solon Simmons
History is many stories. Those stories are written, spoken, and sung. They are carried in our bodies. They billow all around us like copper-colored dust that sometimes obscures everything. In those stories, we grasp at meaning. We search for ourselves, for our place, for direction. We search for a way forward …. delicate new freedom. Hope
Nadia Owusu
Introduction
It may seem incongruous that a field wherein human conflicts are settled, and where we deal with the high stakes interests that are so often at play in our professional or personal lives, we consider the telling of stories as an important strategy available to conflicting parties. Stories are for children, they are not “real”, important conflicts have no time and place for childish or leisure activities that at best belong to a rainy Sunday afternoon. I once held this view as well, and it caused me to keep storytelling as a conflict tool far from my own body of consulting and academic work. A few fortunate recent mandates and research tasks have however slowly but surely drawn me into the wonderful art, and science, of storytelling as a modern, efficient storytelling strategy. Let me try to convince you also.
What do we mean by storytelling?
Conflict case studies show us the often counter-intuitive reality that we are far less rational decision makers than what some of us may wish to believe. Our seemingly rational decision making processes are often heavily influenced, even controlled, by our emotions, our preconceived biases and predilections, and we are simply not the cold, purely rational beings that we may want to believe. Emotions, biases, fears, desires, goals all play an enormous role in our decision making processes, and consequently in our conflict outcomes. As anyone involved in conflict will attest to, there are times when the most carefully prepared logical, fact based arguments simply fail to persuade our opponents, and in fact, as a study of identity conflicts will show, it can actually make matters worse, leading to an array of additional adverse conflict outcomes. It is here where storytelling, adapted to become a conflict tool, can come to the rescue. As we will see, the narrative of events, the background and current developments in the stories of our own lives play out in our lived experience, in how we make sense of these events and how we convey those events to others are all very sensibly seen and understood s stories. Stories with heroes and villains, with journeys and quests, with complications and challenges, with resolution and reflection. With the simple understanding then that stories carry emotional and explanatory power to go, at times, where logic and reason cannot go on their own, we can have a brief look at the use of storytelling as an important conflict tool.
The synergies between conflict and storytelling
Right at the start of our assessment we notice that most stories have some level of conflict running through them. Whether it is the gallant knight fighting a dragon, the struggle between good and evil in a Stephen King story or the challenges faced by two lovers in a romance novel, our stories are made interesting and valuable by conflict. Stories teach us so many life lessons and conflict skills, from an early age. We learn, through our beloved stories, that resilience and bravery in the face of danger and overwhelming odds can lead to victory, we see that others also suffer, we notice how life does not always end in a fair result, and our stories teach us about love, hope, courage and compassion. We can hardly fail to notice, through our stories, how ubiquitous conflict is in the world, how everyone is affected by it, and how we can shape and benefit our lives by participating in these stories, and dealing with the conflicts inherent in those stories. But it is not just in the laudable examples that stories provide that we find some inspiration and guidance for our everyday conflicts. We also use stories to make sense of the world around us. Listen with an open mind to one of your own stories about a conflict that you are, or have been, involved in, or a story told to you by a friend. Can you hear the hero, the villain, the odds stacked against the one party, the development of the story, the bravery and fortitude, the development of the narrative, the building of tension, the resolution (good or bad)? Our lives, our careers, our relationships are experienced as stories, as narratives, not as cold, clinical data sets, and this is where storytelling as conflict tool becomes so valuable.
Examples of the use of storytelling in conflict management
The above discussion may oversimplify the value and practical application and promise inherent in storytelling as a conflict tool, but that is unavoidable and intentional. As someone like Prof Solon Simmons, in his new book “Narrating Peace”, show so eloquently, the full application of storytelling comprehensively understood and applied to conflict can add a very nuanced and complex level to conflict management theory and practice. It is however heartening to see how storytelling is making a place for itself in the sometimes cold and clinical world of conflict management, and how several senior conflict practitioners are building it into their practices. I have, over time, become an outspoken advocate for advanced storytelling theory and practice being incorporated into conflict management studies and consultancy work. We can use the following few examples as illustrations of the potential that lies in storytelling.
i. Storytelling can lead to more effective communication
Using the familiar landscape of the story world that we all know to some extent can lead to surprising commonalities and shared experiences, despite other cultural walls and differences. Stories that are shared in a particular community can provide places of familiarity, of acceptance, of comparison that can unlock relative truths and emotions that the cold talk of clinical conflict language may not be able to reach. Our stories can also enable us to convey our inmost emotions, fears and hopes. The skilled mediator or conflict practitioner can gain much from listening to the stories parties to a conflict tell, in words and images that make sense to those parties. In this same way a party to such a conflict can be persuaded more effectively, by using those same tools, as to any unreasonable demands or seemingly unfair results flowing from such a conflict. Storytelling structures can be of great help in either understanding the conflict, or in assisting parties to see aspects thereof that they may have missed. Simmons uses the example of the conflicts in the Middle East to illustrate the power of storytelling in our points of departure.
Who do we regard as the protagonist in those wars, and who is the antagonist. This is where the story arc, the parties’ point of departure starts, and it contains vital information for where the conflict and its possible resolution go from there.
ii. Storytelling gives us access to symbolism
In addition to more effective communication, incorporating storytelling in our conflict management strategies, we can understand, and persuade parties to consider the role of the sacrificing leader, the reconciliatory community, the innovative winner, the suffering hero and so on, if not to emulate then at least to give them, and us, access to alternative endings and conflict outcomes. This need not be discussed as specifically storytelling events, but simple references to well-known stories can act as powerful images and references for the conflicts that parties are going through. Practice with this will also show how blurred the boundaries between these stories and reality can become, all to be used by the experienced conflict practitioner.
References to the stories and journeys of Mandela, Ghandi, Lillian Ngoyi, a Hamlet or a Lady MacBeth can unlock and give access to visceral emotions and experiences that could serve a party well in difficult conflicts. It serves to show a party that she is not alone in this, that her plight and difficulties have been shared by other beloved characters, even fictional ones. In identity conflicts this sense of belonging to a group, to a value character that the party prescribes to and identify with (for instance “good people” or “reasonable, strong men”) may make all the difference in the acceptability or not of a proposition or resolution alternative. And this power of storytelling can help a party that inevitably faces a harmful conflict outcome with an example from which to draw courage and inspiration, despite the outcome. The story used need not be a positive one. Any reading of Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” will fail to give us a happy ending, and yet people can, and do, draw strength and courage from its grim pages. Powerful stories remind parties of their agency, their choices, that they do have some control over their destinies, regardless of how that may seem to have been taken away from them by their conflicts.
iii. Storytelling can level the playing fields in certain conflicts
In their important article on storytelling and conflict, authors Benjamin Maiangwa, James Ojochenemi David, and Dominic James Aboi set the scene for this category very clearly: In several societies (particularly in the global South) battling with or recovering from conflicts or healing past traumas, people's experiences and stories are often glossed and passed over for mainstream narratives and research practices that are shaped by the Western media, ostensibly scholarly analyses, and rumor mills. These externalizing “storytelling” channels often promote hasty generalizations, producing half-truths about others. The lack of attention given to stories of subaltern resistance, lifestyle, wisdom, and reconciliation in narratives about the human condition perpetuates out-group demonization and essentialism, making it challenging to foster harmonious relationships. Moreover, lopsided stories ineluctably raise the stakes of conflicts and deny the history and cultural expressions of people.
Using storytelling to access familiar experiences, to translate and convey intricate emotions, needs and fears, and allowing people to be effective and compete around the table in their conflicts is one of the major benefits of using storytelling as an advanced conflict tool. Cultural norms, expectations and strategies can be countered, negated or limited by using the power of storytelling, by showing unexpected similar experiences and expectations, and by allowing, if not consensus, then at least an increased understanding, which in turn leads to an increase in respect and an acknowledgement of the dignity of one’s counterpart.
iv. Storytelling grants the mediator or conflict practitioner additional conflict tools
Stories can be harmful, purposeful propaganda tools, ill-considered and unexamined received wisdoms from ages past, dealing with the perceptions of “the enemy”, their characteristics and history, how they were defeated, wrongs they committed and so on. This can be used, consciously or otherwise, as dehumanizing and polarizing fuel for current and future conflicts, and a skilled mediator or conflict practitioner can be aware of the destructive aspects of a story, while steering the parties to the recall or even creation of new, positive narratives.
v. Storytelling can lead to conflict transformation
As studies from several post-conflict societies and individuals show, stories can also help rather spectacularly to aid in post-conflict healing processes, for example in the recall of past histories, in showing past conflict patterns, showing mutual suffering or experiences, and even in reconciliation. In Africa, as a very clear example, several NGOs have used storytelling as a post-conflict tool in the use of reaching the abovementioned goals.
vi. Storytelling is a powerful conflict tool during and after violent conflicts
I suppose we should conceded that violence often makes for good, or at least popular stories. Something about the tamed, controlled violence in some of our movies and novels attract some people, even as they stand horrified at its sight. Violence, for instance modern violent protests, contain in them powerful emotions, and powerful, complex conflicts in turn flow from these emotions. Here storytelling gives parties access to emotions and decision-making process that, as conflict studies show, they may not have access to during these emotional, violent events. The use of violence in our popular stories are often treated differently as people may experience from a “might makes right” and the success of the violent in their streets, and lessons may be accessed that cold rationality may not be able to reach. Again, we see the power that violent stories can exercise if not used properly during conflicts, or negated by a skilled conflict intervener.
David Wasterfors (see recommended reading section below) convincingly uses the stories employed by the Nazis to vilify Jews and other enemies, or the stories used during domestic violence events, to cause and exacerbate violent conflict events. Knowledge of these negative potential influences is of course as necessary as the knowledge and use of the more positive use of stories. vii. Storytelling is proving invaluable in individual or team conflict coaching Storytelling also acts as a powerful aid in describing conflict scenarios, solutions and alternative outcomes, both on the individual and team level. In my own work, elite executive teams have consistently shown a wonderful openness to this added facet to their coaching programs, with measurable positive results. As a pedagogic aid, storytelling adds high value to conflict coaching.
Conclusion
Storytelling as conflict tool is attractive on many levels. Even at its most basic application level it grants an intuitive, emotional level of input to the conflicting parties and the party(ies) assisting them, often granting insights and shared understanding simply not available to the more clinical approaches to conflict. At its most advanced levels, storytelling affords practitioners a sophisticated and nuanced conflict tool that will add to their conflict insights and resolution alternatives alike, often negating the need for dreary, unimaginative and unsustainable compromise outcomes. I have already incorporated advanced storytelling as a conflict input into my own work, and will continue to escalate this input. And that, dear reader, is a story for another day. Remember also that you are not just an actor in the story of your own life, but also the story-teller.
Summary of main sources, references and suggested reading
1. For insightful contemporary work on the importance and role of our emotions in our decision making processes and conflict outcomes I recommend the general body of work of Jonathan Haidt, Jay van Bavel, Yascha Mounk and Sander van der Linden.
2. Dangerous Magic: essays on conflict resolution in South Africa, by Andre Vlok, (Paradigm Media, 2022). Available from the publishers, or at Amazon.com: DANGEROUS MAGIC: Essays on conflict resolution in South Africa eBook : Vlok, Andre: Kindle Store
3. Relevant articles for your consideration and their source material can be found at www.conflict-conversations.co.za
4. The new book by Solon Simmons, called Narrating Peace: How to tell a conflict story (Routledge, 2024) is an excellent and advanced treatment of storytelling as conflict tool, and is highly recommended.
5. The article Storytelling and Peacebuilding by Benjamin Maiangwa, James Ojochenemi David, and Dominic James Aboi, in the Routledge Handbook of Peacebuilding (2nd edition, 2024) is a wonderful exploration of this powerful conflict tool.
6. A far more academic treatment of storytelling in conflict, and nevertheless still of great practical use, is David Wasterfors’ Violence Situation, Speciality, Politics, and Storytelling (Routledge, 2023).
7. On a practical level, there is much value in Samantha Hardy’s Conflict Coaching Fundamentals (Routledge, 2022).
8. On the related note of the influence of art on our conflicts, see ART AND CONFLICT - how art can improve our conflict skills and outcomes - The Conflict Conversations (conflict-conversations.co.za)
(Andre Vlok can be contacted on andre@conflictresolutioncentre.co.za for any further information)
(c) Andre Vlok
September 2024